On last night’s Colbert Report, Louie Gohmert was ridiculed in the worst way possible by the host, Stephen Colbert. The show started with a quick analysis of the Ebola hype in New York and the national media. The second segment was dedicated specially to Gohmert. Colbert introduced him as a “confused piece of gnocchi”. The Texas congressman was featured with a few clips from 2012 and 2009 where Louie is trying to put blame on President Obama. On the CSPAN footage he says ridiculous stuff like: “he has helped jump start a new Ottoman Empire”, then “we’re going to borrow more money from the Chinese to possibly give them more money back to create habitats for wild dogs and cats that are rare. There’s no assurance that if we did that, we wouldn’t end up with mugu dog pan or mugu cat pan”. Colbert then says “this man is always worried about food safety, ever since he drank that paint thinner”. The sarcastic host adds that it is only 2 letters away from paint dinner.
Colbert then goes on to comment that Gohmert “made words with his mouth again”. In a featured clip Gohmert starts talking about gays in the military and implies that they could not function properly against terrorists. He then talks about how in ancient Greece this was a common practice, but nowadays war is different, and it just wouldn’t work. He says people getting massages all day wouldn’t last very long in battle. Colbert then refers to the battle strategies of the ancient Greek armies in a sarcastic manner, as if he would approve of Gohmert’s message.
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After debating the Greek combat strategies Colbert delivers the worst insult of his career to Louie Gohmert. “I’m with you sir. People have said to me: Stephen, you gotta understand you don’t even know your history. You’re dumb, you’re dense. You’re a mental midget with the IQ of a butter dish whose mind is a black hole that sucks all surrounding though into it in an infinite singularity of pure stupidity. Stephen, I’m surprised you can even dress yourself. I bet you have to rub peanut butter inside your lips to remember to open your mouth to breathe. I have never met and I hope to never meet a man so pervasively, astoundingly, unyieldingly ignorant. To which I say: well then you haven’t met Louie Gohmert!”. The studio crowd went wild with laughter, applause and cheers. If rap battles would have this level of throw downs they would all end in gunfights. It was the superlative of all offences. Colbert will replace David Letterman early next year on the Late Show on CBS. We hope he keeps his cunning attitude and courage to speak against BS like Gohmert’s.